As I was driving home from a little market shopping this morning I had this sudden reality check set in that I have entered into my last week in Chiang Mai. Tomorrow night will be my last time to go to Free Worship as part of Sookasem Church. Sunday morning will be my last church service as a part of Sookasem Church. This is my last week of leading worship at the Revival House of Prayer on a regular basis. That’s when my eyes began welling up with tears. I never thought a year ago, when I moved here, about the possibility of having to leave friends in Thailand while still in Thailand. At the point we decided we were moving to Chiang Rai I never imagined it would be painful. 6 months ago I was struggling through culture shock, trying so hard to make it through each day here without quitting. Daily I cried out to God for a deep love for this people and nation. I needed to see them through the eyes of the Lord and not through my Americanized eyes. That wrestle to love this place and this people won and did something in my heart. I can still remember the shift that took place in my heart one weekend, not really towards Thailand, but towards the Thai people I was in community with. There was this sudden moment where my eyes were opened up and I no longer saw them as just these Thai people but I suddenly began to see them as my friends and even family. I can’t quite describe it I just remember saying to the Lord, “Wow…these people…they’re like family to me. I really love them!” Now…I have to leave them. Sure, I’ll be back for regular visits, but it will never be like it is right now and you know…that hurts a lot! It’s been a hard but really fun year. I can’t imagine how I would have ever adjusted to Thailand if it wasn’t for my friends at Sookasem. They made me love this place!
I remember before even coming to Thailand, people would ask me if I thought I’d go to a Thai church. My response was always, yes, I think so and then I’d go on to explain that I may even go to this one particular church that this girl Jazzy had been a part of (this was before I knew Jazzy was moving back to Chiang Mai). That church I talked about attending is Sookasem. I had all these fears, though, because I had heard so many stories over the years of missionaries being used and abused by the people they were serving. Haha…I was so nervous. It didn’t take me long, though, to realize I didn’t need to fear these things with my church. I was actually so shocked by how much they reached out to me, by their graciousness for all my cultural mistakes I made, the way they served me, and even gave to me. They would go out of their way over and over again to make me feel comfortable. (I should just say…those things have not stopped…it wasn’t just because I was a newbie…it’s just who they are). They just opened wide their doors to me!
I’ll never forget my first “fun outing” with a few friends. Jazzy invited me to go to Doi Taow with her and a few other friends one day. Doi Thaow is about 2 hours or so out of Chiang Mai and there is a sister church to Sookasem there, started by one of their former members. I was so excited the days leading up to going. When I woke up it was raining. Since I had only been studying Thai for a month, all my communication with Jazzy took place through Joel. Joel called to tell me our “fun outing” was canceled. I cried! I was so disappointed and not much later, the rain stopped. It wasn’t long after that Jazzy called and said they were still going if I wanted to go. Of course I went. That day was my first motorbike ride with a Thai, Jiab, who became one of my first Thai friends. We still laugh about how she thought I was scared because I sat so completely still, she wasn’t sure I was on the bike. Everytime we stopped she’d say, “You can move, it’s okay.” I started to become more relaxed and allowed myself to move a little bit.
The day in Doi Taow was so much fun. Jazzy, Jiab, Sonyaa, and Wuu all came up. Pastor Ras made Som Tam for lunch-my first time to eat it and I LOVED it! She actually made me my own special “farang” dish because I couldn’t handle the amount of spice they would eat. So sweet… We hung out, ate, talked, and then had a time of worship and prayer together. I played piano and led and the worship leader from their church came in and joined and played guitar with me. It was so sweet.
When it was time to leave it looked like rain could come and sure enough it did. Now, I did have rain gear with me, but I didn’t realize that all I needed to do was tap Jiab on the shoulder and ask her to pull over so I could put it on. So I rode on the back of the bike for a good hour, getting soaked, while my rain gear remained in my bag. When we finally stopped somewhere so everyone else could buy a poncho, I pulled out mine and Jiab starts flipping out! We both started laughing as she explained I could have just asked her to pull over and she would have been so happy to let me put it on. Oh well…at least I got to suffer with the rest of them. We were so cold and soaked to the bone. 3 hours on a motorbike in the pouring down rain…a day I’ll never forget. We still laugh about it now.
My First "Fun Outing" up to Doi Taow
Then there was my first church camp. That’s when I discovered the Thai people really love to take pictures! I also found out that a western breakfast in their mind is ham sandwhiches…with ketchup and sweetened condensed milk. I had to do a little clarifying there. I really had a good time at the camp but I remember feeling at times a little bit awkward and out of place. None the less it was a lot of fun.
First Church Camp
The second church camp I went to I felt a lot more comfortable and a part of the group. I kind of knew what to expect. This time for breakfast we ate tuna sandwhiches with sweetened condensed milk. Again, I had to clarify that wasn’t a typical western breakfast, but totally fine. Yes, I did eat it, in case you’re wondering. I did have a rather embarassing moment at this camp. We were up in Doi Taow again, and again, it rained while we were there and the yard was a soppy, muddy mess. I had come a little bit later than some of the others and had taken a shower right before coming so as not to worry about having to take one there if I didn’t want to. Knowing we were leaving around noon the next day I decided it just wasn’t necessary to take a shower. For whatever reason, everyone asked me if I was taking a shower and everytime I said no they all started teasing me and saying I was going to stink. I just laughed with them and didn’t worry about it. After I brushed my teeth, it was raining, and so Wuu,being such a gentleman, got an umbrella and started walking me across the yard to where I was sleeping. He also asked me if I was going to take a shower. Just as I begin to tell him no and explain why, I take a step down a tiny hill that’s completely mud and suddenly I find myself frantically trying to keep myself balanced until I just land smack in the mud. Laughing, I looked up at Wuu, and said, “I guess I will take a shower.” The rest of the night and into the next day the joke was that God really wanted me to take a shower so that’s why I fell in the mud. The next day I got my dream come true of riding in the back of an open bed truck. The only bummer was, it started raining again. Phii Da was so kind to make me a plastic bag jacket and head covering for the truck ride. I remember trying so hard to scrunch down in the back of the truck and stay dry. It wasn’t working and really I was rather uncomfortable so I finally sat up, rain smacking my face and my hair sopping wet I looked over at Phii Da and yelled, “I LOVE THAILAND!” Sure I was cold and wet, but, as Pastor Jamie said to me when we stopped for the first time, I was getting a true Thai experience. It still remains to be one of my favorite.
Then there was my first all nighter at church…or almost all nighter, 9 pm- 3 am. What made that night so special is that’s the night I met my friend, Rose. I had no idea where she came from, but suddenly she was there and actually living at Sookasem. That whole night she talked to me and had me laughing so much. I loved her and from that point on we were friends!
Rose and I
My first village visit was with my church for Jiab’s wedding. I already wrote 3 posts on that one so I won’t go into it. It was just simply the best time ever and I’m so glad I got to be a part of that special day for Jiab.
I also made my first real western friend (apart from my team members) at Sookasem. How did I get so fortunate that the one other missionary couple that is now part of Sookasem Church happens to be some the coolest people ever?! I don’t know! I love Ric and Sharon Bruce and could write a whole blog on what I’ve learned from them! Sharon has been such a great friend-so fun to be with at church but also someone I’ve so easily been able to open up and share my heart with. What a gift!
Sharon and I at a church camp
Besides the bigger events I learned how to eat “Thai style” at my church and experience all kinds of different foods. I learned a little about how guys puruse girls (not from personal experience). I learned Thai hospitality. Church is where I really learned to speak Thai. I learned about the struggle a person goes through to follow Christ and deny their family and culture. Through my friends and their lifestyle of living I’ve learned life is more fun when you keep it more simple. My church, being predominately hill tribe, gave me a love for the hill tribe people.
This year was a life changing year. I could go into a long story of the journey of my heart over the last year, my first year of living in Thailand, but I won’t at this time. I just wanted to take a moment to remember the fun times–all the things I got to experience for the first time with friends from my church. I regularly thank God for a community of Thai believers that I could be friends with. Chiang Mai, Thailand has become a home because of these special friends.
I thank God Chiang Rai is only 3 hours away and I’ll still see everyone once a month, at times maybe even more, but it makes my heart sad to know this season of being a part of their lives on an almost daily basis is coming to an end. I think of all the Sun. meals I’m going to miss, the Thurs. nights of worshiping together, all of the spontaneous dinners together, the just “hanging out” after church and Free Worship and it makes me sad. All in all, I’d much rather be sad about leaving because it means my heart did connect and I have real relationships here and for that I’m grateful!
